Why we don’t like ourselves in photos?
In February, I wrote a posing guide to help people look better in photos and overcome camera shyness. Now it’s September, and I’m still thinking, why the hell did I write it in the first place?
Clearly, I needed it myself, a place with all the posing advice that are good and make sense. It also proved to be helpful for my clients, plus a couple of strangers on the internet thanked me for it.
But why do we need guides like this? Because mine is not the only one, there are hundreds of pdfs, texts, and videos on the topic. Why?
Do we all think we ugly? Do we hate ourselves on every picture and every selfie we ever take? I doubt it.
Since I’m thinking about this a lot, I keep noticing posts and articles on beauty and self-reflection. I’m starting to understand why some people look better on Instagram than others.
- Those people may not look perfect, they might know how to find the best light.
But so can you. Just try to avoid harsh daylight when you’re taking selfies, find the shadow, or do it in the late evenings and early mornings, when the light is soft. - They know what poses and angles are more flattering for them. They’ve spent some time figuring out where to put hands, how to stand, where to turn, how to sit and walk.
But so can you too. - They are skinny and seem to look good at every angle to you (they might disagree with you though). But… let me talk a little more about this one.
The culture is already shifting, and fashion and makeup industries are showing us different body types, hairstyles, and skin colors. We now see more and more diversity, and we need this tendency to grow, expand, and reach every field and every country.
Today’s “ideal body” is very different from the “ideal body” of the XVII century. But what if we go further and widen the term, what if a lot of different bodies will be called ideal? And how about all of them?
Because if we only choose one body type and call it beautiful, we are declaring that every other body type and shape are not beautiful. Why? And who exactly gets to decide? Who said that there’s something wrong with wrinkles and pimples? Who said it’s not pretty to gain or lose weight, to age, if it’s happening to our bodies naturally? The body is always changing and never stays the same.
“Body is a vehicle that pushes you forward.” Sorelle Amore
Another curious thing is that other people see us as a whole, but our attention is specifically drawn to that one thing that we don’t like about ourselves. And that one “imperfection” makes us think we’re not beautiful at all.
From evolution’s point of view, each of us is precisely perfect. Each of us looks good and whole, but society, for some reason, picks specific criteria and announces it as a flaw. These “flaws” vary from century to century, one culture to another, which doesn’t make any sense and only proves that these “flaws” are fiction.
The only thing we can do to look good in photos is to love our bodies, our personalities, love ourselves as human beings.
wSeriously, everything else, poses, angles, relaxed shoulders, — are just technical things that the camera needs. That’s right, camera, not your perfect self. Cameras and lenses are far less advanced than our eyes, that’s why we have to elongate our posture, avoid pointing our elbows straight to the lens, and do other stuff like that.
But even poses are secondary, the only thing that can highlight our beautiful faces and bodies, is a good light. I mean it. Soft light is much more flattering and powerful than those apps and filters that blur skin and turn people into aliens.
“Search for the best light.” Me
When we stand in front of the camera, we can’t shake off the feeling that we need to do something special, smile, or stand in an interesting pose. But we don’t have to. There’s a big trend for everything natural, real, true, and simple. And if you don’t stand in a photo as you stand in real life, is that photo even of you?
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” Thich Nhat Hanh
I can’t say I have all the answers I was looking for, this subject will probably pick my interest for a long time. But I’ll be glad to hear your thoughts. Any other ideas about what we should do with imperfect selves? :)
